Saturday, January 12, 2013

Learning lessons.

   So I'm going to summarize the rest of our relationship, and highlight the important parts for the rest of the story on N. Honestly when I spent time with N, everything seemed fine, and I couldn't have been happier with someone at the time. We had fun when we stayed at home, we went out to movies, and fun stuff like that like any other normal couple. His parents loved me, and I loved them. His sister and I got along very well. Like we were close enough to text each other, and hang out when N had to work. After so long I started spending all my weekends at his house. We started dating in February, and dated for 6 months. So we basically had a summer romance. So during school, I would leave Friday night, and come home Sunday night. But N had a part-time job so I would just hang out with his sister until he came home. Everything about us seemed like a normal couple. And for the first few months, we seemed like a normal couple when we were apart too. Let me say one thing about N, he is the world's greatest actor. He could make a girl believe he was head over heels in love with her in a week, without any issues. I trusted him so much that I gave him something I could never take back. He knew from early on that I was a virgin, and he also knew how much sex meant to me. I wanted my first time to be with someone I truly loved, and who loved me just the same. Well I thought that was him. It makes me sick to my stomach that he was that cold and selfish of a human being to take that from me knowing all that.
   The first of many bad things were brought to the surface about 3 months into our relationship. He began to not text or call as much as normal, and he was being distant with me. I thought it was just because he was busy with work and finishing up school and stuff. I was very wrong. His best friend and cousin Ni texted me one night, and said he needed to tell me something. Immediately my heart dropped. I texted back asking what was up, and he replied by telling me that N went to the same club were he and I met, and danced with and kissed some random girl there. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I tried to gather myself together, and asked him questions about it. He said he was with him when it happened. That was there verification I needed. I immediately called N yelling at him, and telling him I just found out that he cheated on me. Surprisingly he didn't deny it, he apologized and started crying right there on the phone. That was one of his signature moves, he would make himself cry to make him seem more believable. The fact that he could do that disgusted me. He begged me saying "I love you H, please don't leave me, just give me a second chance, you mean everything to me". Stuff like that, each word struck a nerve deep down inside me. Tears welling up in my eyes, I forgave him, and made him promise that he wouldn't do it again. I made it clear that I would break up with him if it happened again. Looking back the only reason I gave him a second chance was because of what I gave him, and the ties that were created because of it.
   Because I busted him, he pulled the nice guy act for another month or two. But towards the end of July, he started to become distant again. The feeling was very familiar to me. I reached out to N's best friend asking him if he knew what was wrong with him, and he never answered me. A knot formed in my stomach. But later on that night his best friend called me. He said "H, you are a very sweet girl, and you deserve the best, you don't deserve to be treated the way N treats you. If I tell you something, you have to promise not to tell N that I told you, even if he asks okay?" I replied, "Just tell me whatever it is you need to tell me, I can handle it". He took a very deep breath, and paused before he spoke again. The next words that came out of his mouth were the words that completely broke me. He said "N has been cheating on you since the first day you two started dating". Tears immediately flooded my eyes, and my heart felt like a popped balloon. I was just numb, I wasn't mad, or sad. Just completely blank. "Are you okay?" Ni said pulling me back to reality. I told him I'd be fine, and to continue what he was saying. He told me he was kissing, dancing with, doing stuff with, and going all the way with several other girls the whole time we were dating. I almost threw up right then from the thought. I imagined him sleeping with all those other girls. I didn't understand how someone could do that to another. Hurt them that way. Then memories filled my head with all those times he left the room with his phone, and days he basically went missing with no excuse. It all made sense. I was being played from the very start.
   I promised Ni that I would not tell N that he told. After we hung up, I texted N saying "I know you've been cheating on me, it's over". 7 seconds later my phone vibrated in my hand, startling me. He said "Does that mean you're breaking up with me? Please baby, don't, I need you, I won't eat or sleep or do anything if you leave me" Lies. "Baby please I never cheated on you, I just woke up, I'm not at another girl's house, please can we just talk about this tomorrow?" More lies, I couldn't take it. Eventually since I wasn't answering him he called me, I decided to pick up to see what he had to say. He pulled the same stuff he always did when he was busted doing something wrong. He turned on the water works, and purposely tried to strike nerves deep down. He told me he was holding the keychain I made him crying right now. Really? He pulled stuff like that all the time, he always played the victim card to try to make me feel bad for catching him cheating. I was sick of it. I was silent listening to him act. Finally he said "You there?" I repeated my answer saying it was over and hung up. Ni called me soon after, and stayed on the phone with me for a full hour while I cried. It was the best gesture he could do for me, and I respect him for it. It meant a lot to me. His sister tried to console me, but there wasn't much she could do or say considering it was her brother. His mom messaged me on Facebook a week later saying she will miss me, and that she had really hoped that him and I would have made it together because she really liked me. It all hurt so much, but yet I still felt nothing. My body and mind were completely numb to pain now. My trust for all guys was shattered, and I was broken.

No comments:

Post a Comment