Saturday, January 12, 2013

First chance at love.

   I was only 15, and a sophomore in high school at the time. It had been more than a year since my first major boyfriend broke up with me for a reason I don't know to this day. And I had given up on guys because of it, and vowed to work on me for a while. One night a few of my friends told me they were going to this teen club in a bigger city about an hour away, and they wanted me to tag along. Now the whole party/club scene usually is not me. I had never really gone to parties like that, not going to lie I had been to parties before with drinking involved, but I never drank anything. I was always the "house mom". So that was a first time for me. I thought about it long and hard, and finally I decided to go. I felt like I needed a girl's night for once, and to have fun and not worry about anything. I was so pumped up to go, a group of about 8 of us all got ready at my friend S's house. We all piled up in her mom's van, and we were on our way.
   Once we got there, we separated into two groups of four. Already I could tell I felt like dancing that night. So me, and the three other girls went out into the middle of the floor. The other four went to the bar/snack section of the club to sit and talk instead. My group was dancing for a while, and I was watching my friends to try to get the hang of the steps and how they were dancing. All of a sudden I felt someone from behind me tap me on the shoulder. I turned around thinking it was one of my friends, but I glanced back and there was this guy staring right back at me. He had bright blue eyes, and very short sandy blonde hair. I had no idea who this guy was so immediately I was on guard and backed up to be closer to my friends. He motioned for me to come here so he could talk to me over the thumping music. I leaned in, and he smiled and asked "Do you want to dance?". I looked back to my friends who  were giving me looks of approval, and motioning for me to go with him. I turned and yelled at my friends that I would be right back. I thought well hey, I have my cell phone, they could always text me or call me if they need me.
   So he grabbed my hand, and pulled me away from my friends to a different section of the floor. The way he acted around me made me feel so uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time. He acted as though he had known me for forever. He was not shy at all, he was not afraid to talk or dance up against me. It was obvious that he knew what he was doing. But at the time I ignored all those signs, I was having too much fun, and I was in the moment. We stood close together, his chest against my back, and his hips against mine. The way he moved dominated me, he lead us both in a circular movement to match the pounding of the bass. The alien feeling of another body so close to me started to feel like home. I gained so much more confidence just by dancing with this man I had just met. I started to move my hips to my own rhythm, and he followed adding his own twist. my adrenaline was rushing through my veins, and my heart felt like it was going to explode. After we danced for a while, he leaned in, his lips so close to my neck, and said "Do you want to go sit down somewhere?" I nodded as he grabbed my hand once again, intertwining his fingers with mine, and ushered me over to the neon blue benches along the walls. We could barely hear each other, even though we were feet from the big crowd. Barely audible, he said "I know a better place if you want to go there instead?". "Sure" I said pausing for a moment, and he once again with no fear, grabbed my hand and lead me up to the second floor of the club, brushing past so many people, he kept his grip tightly on my hand. Then he lead me up another set of stairs so we were next to the "VIP" entrance on the third floor. The balcony was fairly small, and there were two benches up against the walls. We sat down side by side, and we started off the conversation by playing the 20 questions game. That is when I got a closer look at him, he was about 5'8, his hair was very short, almost a buzz cut, but was hard to tell considering he had a black snapback on. He wore loosely fitting jeans, a black t-shirt, and high-tops. His name was N, he was about a year older than me, he lived an hour away from me, he liked rock music, had a sister, he had a tribal tattoo on his right arm, and seemed very confident as a person. Me being a shy girl, I always like a guy that can manage to continue a conversation with me with such ease. But yet again, he was too confident. The thoughts crossed my mind that it seemed like he done this hundreds of times before. But I pushed it out of my head immediately.
   After we had talked for a long time, we decided to go dance one more time before we had to leave. He was such a good dancer. His hips matched mine, as we swirled and swiveled around and around to the bass. Considering this was my first time dancing in a big crowd like this, he made me feel like an expert. His body so close to mine, I felt like we were the same person. His chest up against my back, I could actually feel his body heat. I could feel his breath on my neck, his lips lingering near the back of my ear. Looking back I have absolutely no idea what I was thinking, but I turned my head, and gently kissed him while we were dancing. The adrenaline running through me reached it's peak. That is not the type of person I am at all! But for some reason, that's how I acted. Breaking from the kiss, I reached in my pocket to check my phone. I had 13 texts, and 2 missed calls. Oh shit. I didn't even feel my phone going off with the loud music. "Where are you?", "We're worried", "Are you okay?", "We are leaving soon", "We can't find you", the list went on and on. I knew I was in trouble. I texted back saying I was looking for them, but couldn't find them. Making it seem like I hadn't lost track of time. N and I quickly exchanged numbers, and before I knew what he was doing he gave me a quick hug. I was in shock by his confidence with a girl he had never met before. I quickly mouthed I had to go, and ran off to find the rest of my group.
   Later that night, he texted me first. We continued our conversation like it had never stopped. He made me feel comfortable, like I could tell him anything. I trusted this man I had just met. Not like me at all. I didn't know how I felt about that. He was like a drug, I knew he was the "bad boy" type, and I knew I was getting myself into something that was way over my head, but I did it anyway, he was so addicting. I think his mysteriousness drew me in, the factor of an unknown lifestyle and personality was very exciting to me. He was not like any guy I had ever met, and was almost my polar opposite. But I mean, I'm from a small town, I knew almost everyone in it, and I didn't really connect with anyone there. Everyone is so close in my town, that we're all almost like family. After a few weeks of getting to know each other he asked me to come over to hang out. Well, this was a struggle for me given that he lived an hour away! After days of begging, I managed to persuade my parents to allow me to go see this guy I had only met once in my life. I found myself in the car with my parents, going to a town an hour away that I had never been to in my life, to go see a guy I had only met once before in a dance club. What did I get myself into?

   To Be Continued:

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